Little background
My name is Emma, I live in Australia and I am turning 20 tomorrow (August 13th). Eeek. I have a fear that I have
achieved so little in my two decades of existence thus far. I know the future
me will look at this and laugh at my panic about turning 20 but for now I am
allowed to be scared. I have anxiety, especially over judgement from others and
I am currently trying to deal with these issues, writing things down helps my
brain stop over analysing everything. I am the Queen of analysing. As today is my last day of being a
teenager, I have decided to write a letter to my 12 year old self on the cusp
of my teenage years.
Note: None of this is meant to be negative; this is a letter
that would have reassured me through some difficult patches. Most of this
letter is supposed to be light-hearted and some parts funny. I have never done
anything like this before so I’m not sure if it will come off the way I intended.
This is for me to look at in the future. So here goes.
Dear 12 year old me,
You are beautiful. You will grow taller than Maddy, and for
that short period of time you will love being the taller friend, cherish that,
it doesn't last long ;). Treasure those days where you stay out from dawn to
dusk, growing up is over rated. Live adventure; till there is nothing left to
explore. You can’t fear the unknown until it is known.
You will soon learn that having your hair slicked back in a ‘perfect’
ponytail for school is not worth the hassle (mum will be extremely happy about
not having to brush your hair every morning). I am so proud that you began high
school with a sense of humour and confidence and awareness of who you want to
be. Although right now I have no clue what I want to do, I know I am proud that
you walked into high school and said “hello” to everyone, that you left the shy
Emma behind at the front gate on the last day of primary school.
Could’ve is ‘could have’ not ‘could of’, you should probably
learn this before year 10 English, it was kind of embarrassing having to ask
the teacher why she circled the word ‘of’ so many times. You will still mix up
the words tomato and potato even when you are 19 years old, there is still no
explanation for this confusion, just accept it.
That colour, flip phone with a camera you are so excited to receive
for your 13th birthday will make you laugh as you check the time on
your iPhone whilst writing this letter.
Although it is hard for you to comprehend now, people are
right when they say you won’t stay friends with the vast majority of your
friends from school. Having said that, still make friends because those
memories, good and bad, will stay with you forever.
You will learn from
the mistakes you make, but don’t be afraid to make them in the first place. You
need to accept that failure is an important step in learning. Don’t fear
failure. Also, don’t be afraid of change, because change can be good. You won’t
always have the answers straight away, but never give up trying to find them. Look
at the positives but remember, negatives do exist; it’s your choice whether or
not you listen to them.
Acknowledged sooner that perfection is unattainable, it is nonexistent.
You will live too much of your life believing that certain aspects of you aren’t
perfect but when you reach what you thought was perfection; you will just find
another flaw. If you get 100% or close to it in an exam or assignment,
celebrate, congratulate yourself, don’t make excuses like saying “it was an
easy task”. High five yourself, you deserve it. Realise that you need to be happy with yourself
and not live to the expectations of others. On that note, don’t guess the
expectations someone has for you, especially your family, because in reality
you could be anything in life and as long as you are happy, they will be happy.
Live your life for you, don’t live it for others.
Compliment yourself. You are intelligent. You will want to
do something in life to help others; I’m not sure what that will be yet. Just remember;
in order to be selfless you must first be selfish. You need to know happiness,
to help others acquire it themselves.
The road ahead is not completely smooth, but it wouldn't be life
if there were no ups and downs. I am quite proud of what you have and will achieve.
Oh and also, don’t worry about your inability to apply
eyeliner, you will get better at it ;)
19 year old, almost
20 year old, You xx
